Letter to Shivansh on your 10th Birthday

 Dearest Shivansh,

More than a decade ago, I would read this quote from John Lennon on repeat-"Everything will be okay in the end, if it's not okay, it's not the end." After all these years, the realization dawned that the end was the beginning of getting pulled into a black hole. Sometimes joyful, sometimes irked, sometimes in trance, and a lot of times – angry. But all of it with a complete oblivion of time. I don't want to whine about how quickly a decade went by with you both– but it undoubtedly saddens me as much as it warms my heart.

My gulla – you've turned me into a baby as you pull my cheeks, saying she's so cute yaar. I don't know how Gen Alpha is wired so differently; you are anything but scared of me. You've turned into a full-blown entertainer with your funny comebacks and mischievousness. While you're funny, you're also deeply caring for the people around you. You're a kind soul who observes everything around you intently and is affected by the small things that surround you.

I realized something really important this year. Your achievements matter so much more than whatever I will now ever attain. As you won the first runner-up in the drawing competition, my heart raced, fluttered, and jumped out to walk along with you to the stage to pick up the trophy. I’m not sure I've ever been so proud in my life. I love it when you draw with such undeterred focus (keeping your tongue out) and have this urge to get better. Keep your passion going and master the art, my baby.

You're as perceptive as you're sensitive (a little too sensitive). As a mumma bear, I might have protected and pampered you a little too much. As much as I hate to admit it, it’s time to leave babydom, my little baby, and it’s time to get smarter for the big, bad world.  

On your 10^th birthday, I want to thank God a million times over. You are blessed to have a sibling to fight with, grandparents who love you both to bits, and a dad who does everything that fathers do and more. He’s been like a mom, a nanny, a driver, and a doting dad who never says no to anything that you ask for. Bua, Siddhi didi and Krishna bhaiya whose love and warmth you feel despite the distance.

Laugh, stay happy, and keep sparkling. My purpose is to always see you smile (and laugh).

Your cute and funny mommy

Letter to Shreya on your 10th Birthday

 Dearest Shreya,

No, no, no, no- I won't be sad or express my disbelief that you are already double digits. I will learn to adjust with it while looking at your baby pictures.  

Your birth (and Shivansh’s) made me hopelessly optimistic and relentlessly hopeful. It gave me the belief that everything comes at a time when you are prepared for it. You both have made me strong and given me the grit to keep going.

My sleepy head, you are a smart, driven, and nerdy kid. In your teacher’s words, you are a wise, no nonsense, and confident one who doesn’t like to yap (unless you’re with Shivansh). Everything you do, you do it with the intent to excel – academics, sports, and art competition. I was amazed to see your cool upon receiving a bronze medal in skating, as if you won one every month, while I wanted to tango with joy.

Over the years, your fixation on dominating Shivansh only grew. You presume that he’s not doing his work correctly, studying properly, writing accurately, or even breathing the right way. Interestingly, you don’t even like it if any of us reprimands him.  

As you enter the danger zone of becoming a preteen, I hope you don’t change. I feel immensely proud that you are confident in who you are and don’t want to change for anyone. In a world that relies so much on external validation, it is so important to have the confidence to seek your own validation. I hope you never have to fit in, and that you believe everyone else can adjust. Fly higher, don’t look back, as there will always be someone to pull you back, and there will always be someone to protect you. I hope you learn to differentiate.

Your warm hugs and sweet pecks keep me going. Continue to be the loving person that you are – but only for us.

Stay happy, my little one, and always stand firm in your values. And please stop growing up so fast. 

Thank you for choosing me to be your mom and bringing so much joy and pride to your dad, and grandparents. Love you more than the definition of love can ever define.

Your mommy

My nana, Uttam Chand Madan

To the world, you might have been the best horologist—bringing any watch to life—but to me, you will always be Chote Papaji, my Nana. It filled me with immense pride when you came to pick me up from school, and I would excitedly tell my teachers that you were my Nana. As a child, your visits meant dal samosas from Panchkuian Road and a trip to Nani’s house. And, of course, who doesn’t love being spoiled at Nani’s house?

You loved to walk and spoke so little, but your face always lit up when you shared stories of Partition. You always had something to give—whether it was toys, pichkaris on Holi, or crackers on Diwali. You continued the tradition even for my kids. Whether it was a scary mask or a car with lights, your gifts were always unique.

You could do yoga asanas that even the young struggled with. There was never a time I met you when you didn’t notice my watch. You were overjoyed whenever we surprised you at the Connaught Place repair showroom, and even more so when we brought you watches to fix. A visit to your showroom as a child inevitably meant a new toy from Ram Chander & Sons.

You were one of the rare few from your generation who were truly forward-thinking. You raised a daughter who was no damsel in distress—she drove around independently and had the freedom that most girls in those times only dreamed of. She was fearless enough to tell you that she had bunked school to watch a movie, and instead of reprimanding her, you offered to buy tickets for her and her friends the next time. You prepared your children well to withstand the storms and turbulences of life, and I will always be indebted to you because my mother raised me the same way.

You worked long past the age when most prefer to relax. While others became grumpy and fussy, you played with your great-grandchildren as if you were their age, and even had a sweet tooth like small children. In the last few years, you showed immense resilience and strength. They say home is where the heart is, and it seemed as though you left your heart in the place where you spent most of your life—but you never once expressed it. You built a strong family and were truly blessed with a daughter-in-law (my mammi) who loved and cared for you deeply and dedicatedly, more than anyone else.

I wish I had told you all this while you were still here, but I know you are listening. People say we should celebrate your life because you lived it well. But for me, there is no other Chote papaji, I will always feel your presence and each time I remember you, I will say, Hari Om.

Your first grandchild,
Shilpa

 

 

Letter to Shreya on your 9th Birthday

 

Dearest Shreya,

Happy Birthday, my PDA queen.

The more I hated it all my life, the more it bursts from you. You kiss me and pull my cheeks just about anywhere. Your intensity increases as I flush with embarrassment. However, I am told to enjoy it while it lasts, and that is precisely what I intend to do.

You are a sharp, intelligent, and witty little missy who still likes to control your twin. You are a quick learner and a delight for anyone teaching you. The annoying brother in your life is constantly doing everything he can to pester you. Why do I have to endure the most of your nonstop howling and pursuance to reprimand your brother? And when I do, you become his biggest supporter and side with him, transforming me into the monster mom. It's a typical brother-sister thing.

Every time you embrace me, run your tiny fingers on my face, and give me a peck, it is a moment of your expression of love, but for me, it is about loving myself for being so lovable to you. I cannot imagine I ever existed without you and Shivansh when you came into being just nine years ago. I draw my identity from you and everything that stands for love.   

You are the quieter one but one with the most heartwarming laughter. You are rushing to your teens with small external changes you embrace confidently. I wish you confidently shape your demeanor and build a strong character like the women in our family. My love, enjoy the last year of being single-digit and the innocence that surrounds it, for soon it will be hijacked by anxiety (like we saw in the movie Inside Out -2). Till then, we will hug like there's no tomorrow.

From a mom who will stay with you till eternity :)

 

 

 

 

 

Letter to Shivansh on your 9th Birthday

Dearest Shivansh,

Happy Birthday, my gulla.

My elder one – even if you are older by a minute, you definitely are hastening towards every milestone, even your teens. You fired me as a parent and thankfully rehired me this year, and you only respond to the 999^th time of calling you. And that, too, you react with a lazy ‘What?’ from your room as though I’ve disrupted your creative nirvana.

You draw all the time—in class, amid the teacher teaching you, and whenever you can. While I am still trying to get my head around all the monsters, demons, and skeletons, you are creating gory stories that are worrisome. Perhaps it is the generation gap divide staring back at me and asking me to gear up. I’d love to shape up your passion and turn it into something you will truly cherish.

You are an entertainer, and you love to make us laugh. You are a charmer with the funniest retorts and just the response that cracks up people around you. You have even learned to talk with your eyes and manipulate your expressions to get ‘devices.’ You mastered the art of pestering, playing pranks, and expressing love exclusively for your dad.    

 Your laugh is an antidote to our stress and worries, and I am proud that I get to be the funny mom who adds some laughter and hopefully makes your childhood happy. My heart melts a thousand times when you start narrating a story in an animated and spirited way. As much as I love seeing this child turning into an attractive little man, I hate that our shoe and hand sizes are the same, and perhaps by next year, you’ll outgrow me.

I know you hate it, but you will always be my red-cheeked gulla, whom I will squish and cuddle forever.

Determined to love and cuddle you forever, your mom

 

 

Letter to Shivansh on your eight birthday

Dearest cuddly bear,

Happy 8th Birthday!

You will be squished, kneaded, and snuggled no matter how much you hate it. My gifted child, you make me proud. Of course, you draw so well, but you are such a sharp visual learner. You are always drawing things you find interesting and things that get your attention. However, the issue is finding a piece of your drawing sneaked in every corner of the house.

With a deep sense of music, you have a knack for rhythm, love to tango, and make us laugh. As much as I sort of like the character you introduced, Bendy, the protagonist of the horror game series, I worry and wonder if it’s normal for someone your age to enjoy something so dark and grim.

As you laugh out loud as though there’s no tomorrow, I wish your liveliness is not lost to discipline, rules, and senseless benchmarks. Isn’t it ironic that we push you to follow the rules and chase more marks? We, unfortunately, live in a place that gauges the superficial and punishes if you’re naïve.

Let’s get outdoorsy, laugh more, be funny, hocus and focus, and not get lost in the futile race to achieve more. And just because you're not expressive (other than the time you wish to poop), doesn't mean you are loved any less. You are crazily loved, valued, and cherished every single microsecond.

From a mom who wishes you live life to the fullest knowing who you truly are! 

Shilpa

  

 

 

Letter to Shreya on your eight birthday

 My mush machine,

You learned the F word this year. While you obviously don’t understand the meaning, you definitely know it shouldn’t be spoken.

Happy Birthday, my sugar ball.

Lately, there's been a role reversal in the snuggling department as you pull my cheeks, hug often, and give frequent pecks as though I were your child.

Was it a decade back that I wholeheartedly prayed for babies, and isn’t that what I prepared for? I didn’t prepare for the arsenal shot at me these days dressed as a barrage of whys in response to the most minor requests. Despite the several parenting reels that I consume every single day, why is it that when a pre-teen attacks you with a tantrum or a retort, I convulse into the monstrous mom?

I find myself torn in opposite directions as one version struggles to keep you in babydom while the other wishes you were more independent and self-reliant. The baby mom cuddles you so tight, hoping you never go away, so close that you wouldn’t even think about it. And yes, I will eat your lil’ edible nosey one day.

You are a smart missy who loves to sleep and hates to eat. Not the typical girl but it seems you exist with the sole ambition of controlling how your brother walks, sleeps, writes, and responds. Both of your personalities are so codependent that I can’t imagine what you would both be when apart.

Sorry for putting you under academic pressure. I give in. I must work harder this year to help you find something that you absolutely love to do. I’d like to believe you savor the language, but I don’t want to imagine things or force them on you.  

Let’s make it right this year since time is passing quickly. Enjoy this day, which is the most special one for me. 

Love beyond love from your petrified mom who detests you grow so quickly,

Shilpa