Letter to Shivansh on your 5th birthday

Happy birthday my handsome boy. You detest cuddling and kissing (already), but nevertheless I will force myself to give you all the kisses and hugs till I can. Deep down you are a sensitive, caring and extremely sensible little boy. 

Since we are girls and boys team (as Shreya puts it), you are your dad’s team. But when you hug me or hold me when you are vulnerable, the mommy me melts a thousand times.

When you grow, I want you to remember a childhood where you were always heard, felt important and got our undivided attention. I want to give you warmth that will last even in times when I am not around. So, I apologize for each time I got impatient with you for calling out ‘mama’ for the 845th time or for times I did not answer your question. There is nothing more that I enjoy more than talking with you, fooling around or to answer your questions or to even tease you. You should always ask questions, be curious and keep learning. 

As this year coerced me into teaching you, I got paranoid with the academic pressure, yelled at you, and scolded you as well, and as I write this, I feel it to be absolutely unnecessary. Sorry for all those times and remember that you will always catch up with academics, but I really want you to discover your axis. 

I experienced the love of a brother and sister with the two of you. Remember, no matter how old, this bond is like none other. I wish you both are always there for each other, just like you were in your mommy’s womb. 

From a mom who is obsessed with you.

The mystical plan

I thought I held it for life,

But again it escaped into the void,
I looked above, hoping to find it, 
But I was lost in the endless expanse, 
So much beauty in the sky, I was numb,
That shimmering star, or is it a meteor,
Is someone looking at me from that red star,
Can my heart hold this unceasing reach,
Ah, look at the flawed enchantress,
With a new shape each day with every phase,
The eternity engulfs everything I am,

I am under the spell of the deep dark sky,
Feeling like a speck in this mystical plan.
 

Coffee makes me so

I am used, I am abused, and I am overused.

Yes, I am the everyday coffee mug. But not just your ‘everyday’ everyday. I am used for her coffee, day in and day out. She says coffee doesn’t taste the same in any other mug. I snuggle the warm liquid harder so it stays warm enough for her. Every time she sips from my mouth, I try to turn every sip as mesmerising and refreshing as her first one. No matter what they wash me with, I’ve assumed the soul of coffee so I can enliven her experience a bit more.

You know you reach a point in life where you do not mind being used and unappreciated just coz you are somebody’s habit. Humans strangely and loosely tie themselves to habits. One day after another, they make these habits so deeply ingrained in their lives, and believe that they are entangled to them. More habits, the higher the heap of confused web. 

I know I’m not her ‘forever’. Just wait till I have a little crack, and I will be abandoned and lonely as the old haggard person on the streets. 

Now, now, you must think the reason for this coffee mug to be so insolent or pensive. Well, coffee makes me so.

When I had dysphagia and I just could not gulp pills

When I was a child, I had an issue called dysphagia. It means an issue generally swallowing, but I had a problem swallowing medicines. In my experience the more you run away from a matter, the more it comes down on you. So, I suffered from malaria (as a kid), and that too not once or twice, but multiple times while we stayed in Lagos. 

If I must associate certain keywords with our stay in Nigeria, it would be, a doll-like duplex house, tall banana trees, armed robbers, Ilupeju, Indian Language School (and my amazing friends) and malaria. For some strange reason, I suffered recurrent malaria. I had to repeatedly take quinine pills; god knows for many months. It may seem as if I am making a big deal for taking those innocent quinine capsules, but you must ask my mom and dad of the herculean task that it was. 

Some of the ways that this dysphagia kid tried:

• Guzzling down an entire bottle of water only to have the capsule sitting in my mouth
• In the most delicate manner, my mother opened the capsule and emptied the most bitter powder and mixed it with honey. I would still puke.
• My dad pushed it in my mouth, put water and kept my mouth shut till I swallowed it
• My mom fried bread and dipped it in sugar syrup as a post pill reward (she made a whole lot of other goodies as well) but the pill just would not go past my mouth 

Post our stint in Africa and years later, I had to take a zillion medicines and had no option but to learn the art. After all these years, I still have an issue swallowing gigantic pills. I do not have as much of a dysphagia trouble anymore. 

With this memory, I realized that a child may not retain every memory of their parents. Memories that are forever are times when folks (like mine) make sincere and serious efforts, take so much pain, and do everything in their power to support the craziness of their moppet.  

I saw ‘The Social Dilemma’ and here is why am worried

I watched ‘The Social Dilemma’ recently and I started thinking of something really concerning. It does not say anything that I don't know already. I mean I really wish I had access to those advanced AI algorithms to create engaging content for people. But that is not it. I am more worried about how children, in the current and future times, identify or will identify their self with their social standing.

Not to deny that it matters to us as well. That gratification and pump to the dopamine every time our friends like and comment on our picture. And we wait to take that perfect picture. We only celebrate pretty faces, promotions, that 'A' grade, and the near perfect event in our life.

But thanks to a childhood that had more real interactions and mortal connections that we have a stronger sense of self. Our confidence is not destabilized if a picture does not get a like or gets a negative comment. We can discern ‘the social’ us as extended entertainment and not an extended version of ourselves.  

I do not want to sound like a person saying things were better in my time. Things are constantly evolving (read getting more tech driven), and we are as much part of that evolution because it offers speed and convenience which are addictive. 

Shreya and Shivansh are at an age when they really like to play games on the gadgets (which I allow weekly). In some years, they will probably want to be on Instagram and twitter because their friends are. How will I ensure that their confidence is unaffected with or without their social presence? How will I help them understand that their online stance is not who they are? How will I explain that it is not ok to share everything online as our privacy is constantly exposed? How will I convince them that they don't have to be perfect to be liked but being real is far more important? 

The ramblings of quinoa

I gave him a stern look. How could I, the fine and nutritious quinoa, share a table with the obscene ‘bhatura channa’. He looks everything that ever stood for crude and unhealthy. I mean just look at that swollen belly of maida drunken in the guileful oil.

It seems like a single bite of the disdainful ‘bhatura’ could strangle every good nutrient in the body. Look at me, packed with so many coloured vegetables just waiting to please the gut. It’s not for nothing that I’m called the super grain and have every mineral and protein that this bhatura dish can only dream of.

And who calls himself ‘bhatura’? Uncouth! The name itself shoves ‘whoever indulges in you’ in that blazing oil. You come out looking like a pig covered in grease. I can’t even look at the baking soda ridden channa. As if the onslaught of the soda wasn’t enough, it is thrust with an overdose of every possible Indian spice and salt that you’d rather use in a month’s time. 

How do I stand that disgusting smell of the disgracious pickle and onions that goes along? 

You say that you’ve always been there for the Indian palate and I’m the new kid who will soon fizzle out. But tell me, weren’t corded phones replaced with cordless, and then smartphones? I’m the change that everyone has been waiting for.  

But hey you, yea you human! What do you think you’re doing, nooo don’t get tempted, not even one bite. No, no, no

Health gadgets and apps we really need

There is a lot of unpredictability that we are dealing with. Healthcare has put everything else on hold. People are focused more on making health their priority and keeping healthcare at the core. Ever since the virus struck, I read about new healthcare startups every day. There are some healthcare innovations that we absolutely need.

Fever app – rather than getting temperature checked at different places and different people, wish there is an app that could check our body temperature. There must be similar apps to monitor blood pressure, cholesterol, oxygen, and insulin levels.

Infections and foreign body scanner – we definitely need this at the airports. People should be scanned for viruses, bacteria, or foreign bodies at the airport and isolated right away in case there are any present.

Food Monitor – this one will sit on our wrists and just tell us when you eat something unhealthy. It should beep (and possibly stretch an arm inside our mouth and take that unhealthy morsel out) whenever we eat junk food.

Body fat monitor – you could point out to each body part and get the amount of fat sitting in that part and how much do you need to lose from that area.

Skin allergy scanner – this scanner could scan any skin allergy and can give you a reason, diagnosis, and meds for skin allergy.

Happiness meter – this will monitor if people are depressed or dejected, and it will give them ways to deal with it. It will tell them if they need meds to help them with their condition.

The lazy me wishes for a gadget that could possibly do the workout for me. But yea that won't be possible anytime soon so chuck that.

I am sure we could have so many other healthcare tech gadgets that could help all of us. Which health product do you need?