I had written and published this on my ex-blog. During an interesting discussion with Neha today, I remembered about it and re-publishing it (while still striving for 1).
The number 2 is more important than number 1. Really!
All ones somewhere are two. The nose has 2 nostrils, the mouth has 2 lips.
The human has 2 characters. Allright, allright...so this is what I was
actually trying to talk about. Was trying to lead the discussion to the 2
us.
What I want to be.
What I want the world to perceive me as.
The unconventional me.
The conventional me.
The wild, rebellious and experimenting me.
The sober, sensible and satisfied me.
The me wanting to tear apart the rulebook of life
The me succeeding the test of rules
The me not caring about anyone
The me appreciated for how caring I am
The me wanting to drench in the rain till my soul is soaked
The me reaching out to the few droplets not even enough to wet my fingers
The me waiting to fly
The me trying not to fly too high
The me for me
The me for everyone
To be one, deceive not to be the other. To be the other, pretend to
disapprove the other. Never accepting the 2 and yet keeping the 2nd alive
as a temptation.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
I had a strange dream
I had a strange dream.
In fact I think dreams play a significant role in my life. Not sure if it's special to have spiritual dreams, but I feel different whenever I have these spiritual dreams. What is even stranger is the fact that I clearly remember each and every aspect, as is, whenever I have such dreams.
I recently had a strange spiritual dream. Back in school, I was participating in this event wherein a few of us had to come forth and narrate a few lines of this prayer. I was the first to go...dressed in white, I was frantically mugging up, from my notebook, the few lines I had to narrate. We were then called upon to queue up as our performance was to start. And it did...I walked up to the stage and stood in the middle, with the spotlight on myself, completely blank. I had forgotten my lines! What should I do...I was thinking fast. Should I just make up something and say it. Just when I was racing my thoughts to the best escape route, Mrs. Manhorahan, our principal who was late for the event walked in with the Chief Guest and told us to restart. I sighed and rushed backstage, where my mom was waiting. I urgently asked her to get me the notebook where I had jotted the prayer. She rushed and got it. We quickly scanned each page and no prayer. We looked again...nothing. I asked others but they just had their own few lines, which they had to narrate. Mrs. Manhorahan walked in backstage. I tried to put a brave smile so she couldn't sense the panic. She sat down and wrote a few lines...she handed over the paper to me then and asked me to narrate those lines after I had narrated the prayer.
I looked at what she handed me. It said...
Hey bhagwaan, mujhe shakti, shukti, tripti aur mukti pradaan karein.
And I woke up with these lines echoing in my mind. I wonder what significance do these lines hold. I am intrigued and bewildered.
Strange, very strange.
In fact I think dreams play a significant role in my life. Not sure if it's special to have spiritual dreams, but I feel different whenever I have these spiritual dreams. What is even stranger is the fact that I clearly remember each and every aspect, as is, whenever I have such dreams.
I recently had a strange spiritual dream. Back in school, I was participating in this event wherein a few of us had to come forth and narrate a few lines of this prayer. I was the first to go...dressed in white, I was frantically mugging up, from my notebook, the few lines I had to narrate. We were then called upon to queue up as our performance was to start. And it did...I walked up to the stage and stood in the middle, with the spotlight on myself, completely blank. I had forgotten my lines! What should I do...I was thinking fast. Should I just make up something and say it. Just when I was racing my thoughts to the best escape route, Mrs. Manhorahan, our principal who was late for the event walked in with the Chief Guest and told us to restart. I sighed and rushed backstage, where my mom was waiting. I urgently asked her to get me the notebook where I had jotted the prayer. She rushed and got it. We quickly scanned each page and no prayer. We looked again...nothing. I asked others but they just had their own few lines, which they had to narrate. Mrs. Manhorahan walked in backstage. I tried to put a brave smile so she couldn't sense the panic. She sat down and wrote a few lines...she handed over the paper to me then and asked me to narrate those lines after I had narrated the prayer.
I looked at what she handed me. It said...
Hey bhagwaan, mujhe shakti, shukti, tripti aur mukti pradaan karein.
And I woke up with these lines echoing in my mind. I wonder what significance do these lines hold. I am intrigued and bewildered.
Strange, very strange.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Alka Singh Chauhan
As heavy duty the name might sound, I always remembered and will remember her as the tiny, chirpy and extremely adorable AND huggable girl (even though I hate pdoa, she is just so adorable).
When I saw her after 12 years in her diva avatar, one thing was just the same...she was still sitting small and meek in the corner like in the classroom. In school, she was always the short, cute little girl who no teacher even dared to scold as she came across as so vulnerable. Even though we were not the best of buddies(or wait we were not even buddies) in school but here we are and this is us. We landed in the same team after so many years to become the best of chums. But those golden days lasted but a few months till her team was changed. Gosh! It felt like they changed my best friend's class section...
Nevertheless,our breaks are always together. The day starts with an ode to each other to be followed with a frothy, steaming and lovely cappuccino seducing us with its fresh bean aroma (ok, this isn't about cappuccino but both of us just love it). It's never any other way and the day when it is, our mood is completely spoilt. Chittering chattering, the coffee breaks are over soon too soon and followed by gossip on messenger or even animated conversations on office extension (a lot of times about school). A day in office is never complete without her. She makes me feel connected to the past long gone and brings back that girlie sparkle.
As life rolls by, I hope we keep in touch. But all in all, my piece of advice. Never burn your bridges because you never know who might turn to be your closest buddy tomorrow. So here's to Alka Singh Chauhan ;)
When I saw her after 12 years in her diva avatar, one thing was just the same...she was still sitting small and meek in the corner like in the classroom. In school, she was always the short, cute little girl who no teacher even dared to scold as she came across as so vulnerable. Even though we were not the best of buddies(or wait we were not even buddies) in school but here we are and this is us. We landed in the same team after so many years to become the best of chums. But those golden days lasted but a few months till her team was changed. Gosh! It felt like they changed my best friend's class section...
Nevertheless,our breaks are always together. The day starts with an ode to each other to be followed with a frothy, steaming and lovely cappuccino seducing us with its fresh bean aroma (ok, this isn't about cappuccino but both of us just love it). It's never any other way and the day when it is, our mood is completely spoilt. Chittering chattering, the coffee breaks are over soon too soon and followed by gossip on messenger or even animated conversations on office extension (a lot of times about school). A day in office is never complete without her. She makes me feel connected to the past long gone and brings back that girlie sparkle.
As life rolls by, I hope we keep in touch. But all in all, my piece of advice. Never burn your bridges because you never know who might turn to be your closest buddy tomorrow. So here's to Alka Singh Chauhan ;)
Saturday, February 26, 2011
The wilted rose
The wilted rose,
Yellow, it was, in its youth,
Now sits sad and withered,
Blackened petals,
Its charm, its youthful charm,
Robbed, depleted, lost.
Abandoned by human,
Embraced by wilderness,
Happy to be one with nature,
Feeling the touch of the soil,
Craving for heavenly drops from the sky,
The wilted rose, the yellow wilted rose,
Still holding on to life, beauty and its dying charm.
Yellow, it was, in its youth,
Now sits sad and withered,
Blackened petals,
Its charm, its youthful charm,
Robbed, depleted, lost.
Abandoned by human,
Embraced by wilderness,
Happy to be one with nature,
Feeling the touch of the soil,
Craving for heavenly drops from the sky,
The wilted rose, the yellow wilted rose,
Still holding on to life, beauty and its dying charm.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Her highness, Princess Shilpa
While reading of the prince Charles and queen Elizabeths, one can little know of what royalty feels like. But what I felt today, made me feel like a queen or rather a princess and to feel royal must be it.
My dad pulled out his wallet for some ten rupee notes. Just before putting it back he opened it again and showed it to Sumit, who seemed amused. What amused him, had to be shown to me too. And I saw, there sat my chubby pre teen photo in my dad's wallet smiling at everybody. Dad then said with so much pride, "this is my lucky photo". I didn't know of this, I didn't even know that dad had my photograph in his wallet. But it certainly made me feel special, very special. With all my faults and drawbacks, I still was lucky for him and found a place in his wallet. In this entire world with so many accomplished and not so accomplished people, I am lucky for dad beating all those numerous people. Amazing, I am so extraordinary for him and there I was feeling so low about being chubby (again) and for what I couldn't achieve. But I am special, very special for him. So with a deep breath...
I, The special,
I, The lucky,
I, The royalty,
I, The self proclaimed princess of my dad's world.
Yipee...
My dad pulled out his wallet for some ten rupee notes. Just before putting it back he opened it again and showed it to Sumit, who seemed amused. What amused him, had to be shown to me too. And I saw, there sat my chubby pre teen photo in my dad's wallet smiling at everybody. Dad then said with so much pride, "this is my lucky photo". I didn't know of this, I didn't even know that dad had my photograph in his wallet. But it certainly made me feel special, very special. With all my faults and drawbacks, I still was lucky for him and found a place in his wallet. In this entire world with so many accomplished and not so accomplished people, I am lucky for dad beating all those numerous people. Amazing, I am so extraordinary for him and there I was feeling so low about being chubby (again) and for what I couldn't achieve. But I am special, very special for him. So with a deep breath...
I, The special,
I, The lucky,
I, The royalty,
I, The self proclaimed princess of my dad's world.
Yipee...
Friday, February 11, 2011
Happy Blog
Whenever I chance upon my former blog amsurvivor (was I?), it scares me. I
mean Was it me?
The dark and murky world...glum spilled all over. It has taken that long to
realise, accept and start afresh after 4 years.
This new blog idea occurred today while listening to 'Sadi Gali' from Tanu
weds Manu. Ya, imagine from the Linkin' Park, Creed, Pink Floyd to Mr.
Lehmber ( I find his first name intriguing). Not that I ditched Linkin'
Park but I do like loud and happy songs equally now. So it's actually not
thanks to Mr. Lehmber (wow, I like taking his name again and again) but
Sumit.
He's one of the most chilled out person (read man) I've come across.
I've learnt, from him, it's not worth taking matters so seriously. Issues
can be resolved without being serious about them.
I've learnt, to forgive, forget and move on. Live bloated in your ego and
you limit yourself. Connect with people without expecting or having
grudges. You have no control over what they think or say to you, but you
have control over having a good time with them.
I've learnt to have a good time, often. It's good to be energetic and
spontaneous. Listen to cheerful songs and dance. Look for interesting
places to go to. When you're down and out, try listening to a loud and an
up-beat song. It works well for me.
Don't be lonely. When lonely, make friends, call up a friend you haven't
spoken to in a long time.
Do not be so risk averse that you just end up analyzing everything and yes
do not be too analytical. Taking calculated risks is good at times.
Do not be critical of people or situations. You can't change either so
what's the point?
Stay positive as much as possible. It helps.
Pamper yourself, once in a while. Buy yourself something nice or get a
relaxing massage (ok he did not teach me that. I was inspired to learn that
myself but he doesn't mind)
On that note, I hope I can keep this blog alive and kicking.
Statutory Warning - Do not infer from the above blog that I wouldn't sulk
once in a while. Will try and keep it as lively as possible.
mean Was it me?
The dark and murky world...glum spilled all over. It has taken that long to
realise, accept and start afresh after 4 years.
This new blog idea occurred today while listening to 'Sadi Gali' from Tanu
weds Manu. Ya, imagine from the Linkin' Park, Creed, Pink Floyd to Mr.
Lehmber ( I find his first name intriguing). Not that I ditched Linkin'
Park but I do like loud and happy songs equally now. So it's actually not
thanks to Mr. Lehmber (wow, I like taking his name again and again) but
Sumit.
He's one of the most chilled out person (read man) I've come across.
I've learnt, from him, it's not worth taking matters so seriously. Issues
can be resolved without being serious about them.
I've learnt, to forgive, forget and move on. Live bloated in your ego and
you limit yourself. Connect with people without expecting or having
grudges. You have no control over what they think or say to you, but you
have control over having a good time with them.
I've learnt to have a good time, often. It's good to be energetic and
spontaneous. Listen to cheerful songs and dance. Look for interesting
places to go to. When you're down and out, try listening to a loud and an
up-beat song. It works well for me.
Don't be lonely. When lonely, make friends, call up a friend you haven't
spoken to in a long time.
Do not be so risk averse that you just end up analyzing everything and yes
do not be too analytical. Taking calculated risks is good at times.
Do not be critical of people or situations. You can't change either so
what's the point?
Stay positive as much as possible. It helps.
Pamper yourself, once in a while. Buy yourself something nice or get a
relaxing massage (ok he did not teach me that. I was inspired to learn that
myself but he doesn't mind)
On that note, I hope I can keep this blog alive and kicking.
Statutory Warning - Do not infer from the above blog that I wouldn't sulk
once in a while. Will try and keep it as lively as possible.
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