It's been a month since you're gone and there hasn't been a day that I didn't miss you badly. 30 days without you...seems unbelievable. Your affection, love, excitement, cute antics...I miss it all so much. Your sheer innocence and liveliness is so alive in our memories that it seems not possible that death could touch you. I feel that you might just sneak out from under the bed someday and everything will just be the same as before. You brought back the child in us all the time. You have left us as hurt adults.
As we grow as adults, we feel shy to express our emotions. But every time you pounced on us and did not let anyone go beyond the living room till we expressed our love and affection. Your beautiful dark eyes were always filled with love. You demanded immense love from us just like the way you gave us.
Our house was alive with your constant barking. The neighbors, visitors, cats and mice were petrified to even come near the house. Visitors or workmen were even scared to touch our main gate because of you. You were known to be ferocious and (to our advantage) we let that impression be. Even though you were so timid that you couldn't even go alone till the main door in the dark. Or always peed outside the vet's clinic. You know your barking friend Tuffy too misses you. Her faint barking was in sync with your shrieky barking. Now she keeps waiting for your response, just like we do. She alone can't scare away the cats or monkeys.
We miss your childhood, the small ball of pure white fur. My hands now crave to stoke your soft fur. I remember the moment you arrived in a small jute basket, sleeping, unaware of the permanent love you etched in our hearts. I named you in an instant. I played with you as if you were a teddy bear. You must hate me for all those times when I cuddled you hard. You bit all the carpets away and jumped around in every room. I scared you with the red bucket, irritated you by pretending to pull out your ticks or moving around the furniture. You grew up too fast. And became one lovely lady. But with all our pampering you were still the child of the house. I am sure 7 or 17 years, you would have always stayed the baby that you were. Every time I visited, I always had to pick up something for you. All of us thought of you when in market which is why the house was filled with your goodies. You were part of every aspect of mom and dad's routine.
Your going moments still hurt a lot. I don't know why god made us experience them. The only reason I try to convince myself that of your going is that it was time you had to be reborn as a little brat destined to be pampered and spolit by someone else. You must be reborn somewhere as a beautiful little girl with beautiful black eyes, I wish.
Here it is another day without you and not knowing what to do with
ReplyDeletemyself. I miss how you filled my day and gave me purpose in life. I
don't know if I will ever get over losing you; it certainly is going
to take a while.
It has been a dreary rainy week and it reminds me of the times we
would have to work your walks in between the rain drops. We had such
adventure together seeing what we could find for you to chase or bark
at. Those days are gone now and I miss them dearly.
It has been such a short time since you have been gone, but it seems
like forever. I want you back so badly it hurts. I wish I could find a
way to take away the pain, but nothing seems to help. I hope someday
things will be OK again and I will remember you in fond memories.
~ Your mom
wow! I have gone thru this feeling a lot many times before and never wanna go thru it again. Mishti (my pet dog) means the world to us. We never call ourselves as a family of 4, but we are a family of 5 (incl Mishti Jamwal)...
ReplyDeleteIf it is of any comfort, read this book "A dog's purpose"... it has illustrated the world thru a dog's vision. Wat do they think, what do they need, how silly they think we are being :)
it matured my thoughts about a Dog's purpose and I'm sure it'll be of some relief to you too....
God bless!
I wish you were still here, I still have your favorite bed chowa ka bed , and your favorite toys. The bag of dog biskit I bought you before you died, I still have your bowls of water. I miss you so much Snow. Nothing will ever take your place in my heart. I love you and miss you so much.
ReplyDeleteThanks Deepali :) Only one dog lover can understand the passion and pain of another. And I will definitely read the book "A dog's purpose" and make my mom read it too. Thanks again.
ReplyDeleteTo all of you who are lucky enough to still have their beloved pets, don't take a minute for granted and treasure the time you have with them on earth.
ReplyDeleteHow could they send Tuffy???
From mom -
ReplyDeleteOne day chowu caught a rat, which was in Shilpa's room. It was hiding in the drawer of her almirah. Chowu killed it and the whole day she waited for Shilpa to declare her victory. On her return, Shilpa got a phone call from office while Chowu kept running in and out of Shilpa's room.
Now Chowu lost her patience she barked with so much anger and she called Shilpa inside and ran towards her room and showed her the drawer where the hunt took place and she returned victorious.
On 5th December 2006 after Shilpa got married, her uncle, who was staying in our house returned home in Shilpa's car. He returned at 8pm in the car while Chowu was expecting Shilpa. Chowu was so angry to find Shilpa's uncle and Shilpa nowhere in sight that she barked for 1 hour continuously. She growled non stop. Then she went up stairs and chewed up that uncle's shoes ..Though Chowu never misbehaved but that was the first time I saw her so angry!!