Letter to Shreya and Shivansh on your first birthday

Wow, has it already been a year? So dear munchkins, sorry but your mom is not going to say the usual. Both of you can (probably) already sense that you have an eccentric mom.

Yes, you both have completed me in unimaginable and the most loving ways but I love my work and that is also what completes me. Leave alone a few days, I can’t imagine a day without looking at you both and holding you both in my arms. But when I’m able to support the family financially (in whatever little way), I feel equally overwhelmed. On your first birthday, I strongly pray that both of you can find your passion and purpose. 

As preachy as I can get, I want to share two very important lessons with you (yes, already). Though I don’t want you to get drowned under the weight of my (our) aspirations, but I already imagine both of you in either Harvard or Stanford (you have that choice). I miss having that proper qualification, and trust me I strongly believe that it really matters, really, really does.

Here is the first.

When I was in the 10th standard, just before my Maths board exam, I cracked up. I had a tutor, at that time, who told me something that still resonates. I cried inconsolably and thought I couldn’t appear for the exam. He told me that the board exam is a minuscule exam compared to all the other exams that life will throw at me (at least I had the time to prepare for the Maths exam). Most of lives’ exams will give no preparation time. It was something that was told to me almost 21 years back but I still remember these words as they were so so true.

I want you both to know that you should never be afraid of any exams or difficulty. We got your back, always.

And here comes the second.

There have been a lot of people overly concerned, lately, inquiring if you started to walk and then drawing comparisons. I have been confused about the reason for such urgency and trying to make everybody to be a part of a race. Shreya and Shivansh, please remember that your mom and dad are not in a hurry and intend to remain so. Do not feel inferior if you are behind. Never get lost in a race. Just remember you are unique, enjoy that and give your best. If you fail, keep trying.

In the last one year, I’ve learnt a lot from both of you but you know am a bad student. Every day I look at you both and feel envious. Why can’t I be excited about such little puny things? Why can’t I be as forgetful and as forgiving? Why can’t I be as happy and as carefree? Stay the happy and beautiful babies that you are.

While I die of worry about my weight, work and our dwindling moolah, you both sleep like (the way you should) babies. I wish we can give you both the right rearing so you continue to sleep like that.

So much yours that even your dad feels like a stranger – Your mom