Monday, April 9, 2018

Fly my babies, fly high


9th April 2018 - an extremely important date for me.

I learned something important today. Something from Shreya and Shivansh.

After 7 months of fun times in the mother-toddler program, my babies started pre nursery today.  For days, I dreaded the first day of their school. I visualized two howling toddlers rushing out of the class, searching for their mom and nanny waiting to be picked up, their eyes red and noses gushing a thick and sticky fluid (urgghh…you get the picture!). There were nights when so many questions made me so nervous -

How will they adjust? 
How will they be on their own (they’re only 2)? 
How will they do without mom or nanny by their side? 

There never has been a time when I left them with people I don’t trust blindly.  

While on my way to the school, I kept telling myself to be strong. I should have clicked their 'first day at preschool pic' but anxiety got the better of meWe were at the reception and the teacher announced that it was time for the first class. I, with a heavy heart, sneaked out. The next 2 hours took forever and I kept pacing all over the school in anticipation (with a constant and strong urge to peek inside their class). As one of their classes got over and the kids went for the next, I couldn't help myself but take feedback from the teacher. What came next was unbelievable. To my complete disbelief, she said both the kids were doing great and weren’t looking for me or the nanny. I managed a faint smile at her. 

Well, to be honest, I should have been an extremely happy, relieved and proud mom. But I was disappointed. My silly heart cringed thinking my babies don’t need me anymore. I know, I know...totally stupid.

But yes, the thing that I learned today was that I must let go. I can already see them growing two tinniest wings, getting ready to face the world and becoming independent. So, fly my babies, fly high and feel free and confident to tell the world to bring it on. 

P.S. tomorrow is another day and I don’t want to be overconfident. I hope tomorrow is even better than today. Let’s do this one day at a time babies.