Letter to Shreya on your 5th birthday

 

My doll,

Happy happy birthday. I will not spew the regular ‘time flies’ stuff. But soon enough you might be reading these letters, and I am not sure if I am happy about it. 

Who would have thought, 5 years back, that I would have this little creature interrogating me for everything? Who would have thought I would have to explain this tiny woman the reason for wearing new clothes? 

In this unusual year, we experienced more time together, more hugs and more relaxed routines. From online classes, to playing together, to our chitter-chatter, I spent more time with you, and experienced the most bizarre ‘hate you’ ‘I can’t live without you’ relation between you and Shivansh. I turn into a monster, referee, teacher, friend, hugger, child, and mom on the same day. 

Shreya, while you are a bright missy, but you are rigid. You want everyone to do as you wish, particularly Shivansh. As amusing as it might seem, but as you grow, I hope you become flexible, open, and more adaptable for your own good. 

I hope I can give you my eyes so that you see yourself as perfect and flawless. I wish you believe in yourself and dream big. As we grow, we somehow learn to distance from people who really matter. Never distance yourself from Shivansh, talk to each other, and always support each other, no matter what.

You will always be my forever love.

Letter to Shivansh on your 5th birthday

Happy birthday my handsome boy. You detest cuddling and kissing (already), but nevertheless I will force myself to give you all the kisses and hugs till I can. Deep down you are a sensitive, caring and extremely sensible little boy. 

Since we are girls and boys team (as Shreya puts it), you are your dad’s team. But when you hug me or hold me when you are vulnerable, the mommy me melts a thousand times.

When you grow, I want you to remember a childhood where you were always heard, felt important and got our undivided attention. I want to give you warmth that will last even in times when I am not around. So, I apologize for each time I got impatient with you for calling out ‘mama’ for the 845th time or for times I did not answer your question. There is nothing more that I enjoy more than talking with you, fooling around or to answer your questions or to even tease you. You should always ask questions, be curious and keep learning. 

As this year coerced me into teaching you, I got paranoid with the academic pressure, yelled at you, and scolded you as well, and as I write this, I feel it to be absolutely unnecessary. Sorry for all those times and remember that you will always catch up with academics, but I really want you to discover your axis. 

I experienced the love of a brother and sister with the two of you. Remember, no matter how old, this bond is like none other. I wish you both are always there for each other, just like you were in your mommy’s womb. 

From a mom who is obsessed with you.