The emotional baggage of the second wave

The infamous second covid wave has been ruthless. Not too long ago, we (the urban Indians) believed that we were covid proof. We had achieved herd immunity and were above any variants. 

Everything that happened in the past two months has been a rude shock. Each day, as I heard of people struggling for oxygen, hospitals, life, I felt more paralysed. Some of us lost loved ones, some of us lost health but all of us lost hope. 

This variant defied everything that we had supposedly understood about the virus till now. 

During the first wave, each day we were flooded with messages from people (each posing to be a pandemic expert) on WhatsApp university and YouTube. Our days were filled with different concoctions, home workouts and healthier meals. The Instagram stories boasted of pilates at home, low carb recipes and ginger, black pepper and raw turmeric kadha.

We did all that and yet the second wave couldn’t save many of us. It stripped us of trust, self confidence and mainly the illusion that money can buy anything in India. We had to witness our disappointed doctors plead and lose their own lives.

The second wave will soon end and hopefully we will be better prepared for the third, if there’s any. But the emotional baggage of the second wave is so deeply embedded now that it will take the longest time for us to trust the entrusted. We aren’t sure of the right ways to manage our health. Not anymore. 

The disillusioned Indian

This post is predictable. It’s about venting out my anger, fear and uncried tears. 

Questions in my heart, I’m not sure who can possibly answer. This is the lowest low time for most of us. The events of this year have radically mutated my sense of belonging. I’m no longer the person who had tears swell up while singing the national anthem. This doesn’t feel like home anymore. Doesn’t home make you feel protected?

How did we come to this? 

Why are we grappling for basics?

COVID has been around for sometime. Why aren’t we prepared yet?

Where is the assurance that it will be over soon?

Where is the action plan?

How are the leaders allowing this to happen?

How can we be reactive to an extent of mercilessly leaving people to fend for themselves?

Why aren’t we lighting candles anymore? At least it gave hope.

I don’t indulge in political bickering, and I don’t take any sides. I don’t want this post to serve as fodder for a political debate. I want to be able to feel safe again. 

On Republic Day, each year, we put up a show of our armed forces. I want to see our preparedness for pandemics and other medical emergencies. 

Once this is all over (I’m not even sure if it will be and if I will be there to witness it being over), I hope we are still seeking answers. We are still angry and unforgiving for making so many suffer. We are still invested in human life and so is everyone around us.