Wednesday, February 3, 2016

The overnight mom

Isn't it obvious? Obvious that my blogger instinct peaks on becoming a mommy.

But it's strange that I didn't become a mom during the 9 months I carried my babies. I was only too relieved to have become pregnant and gotten rid of the self inflicted burden that I carried for so many years. Neither did I become a mom the first time I saw the babies, which apparently was lying in the OT getting myself stitched up. I spent the first night getting painkiller shots, trying to sleep and wondering how long my incision was. My babies stayed in the nursery that night.

The next morning they arrived with their angelic faces and so did a string of visitors. They slept through most of the day and allowed me to nurse my growing pain and inability to walk. But what followed at night...was totally unexpected. The babies cried and howled and I had no clue how to calm them. I felt responsible and extremely responsible...I was desperate to take care of their needs. It was then that a realization came...Sumit and I had made a commitment without even knowing we did. A commitment to our babies and that too for a lifetime.

When they grow up, I don't want them to be burdened thinking of the sacrifices I made or that I had been a cook, maid, driver, and what not for them. Why blame them for a choice I made and which they didn't ask for?

I'd like them to know how I became the overnight mom. I want them to know that I never believed in love at first sight...still don't.  But they defintely made me believe in love at first night.

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