The two swans in a hotel room

I don't know how many of you feel like the way I do, but every time I see somebody's hotel room pic (which is often) with two kissing swans entwined in heart shape, and a scatter of rose petals, I am utterly amused. Actually, I'm amused and disgusted at the same time.

I get the symbolic meaning of the swans. Representation of love, beauty, and yes, they are a monogamous pair. Their necks entwined in a heart shape is a universal symbol of love. It is then that I wish to convey to the hotel staff that their wishes can be expressed equally well with a slice of chocolate truffle cake dripping in molten chocolate.

I find those towel shaped two swans intrusive, and annoying. It's like the hotel staff trying to indicate or rather expect something. It's a profane act. I can almost picture the porter wink at the guest as soon as he readies himself to leave you with the sneakily folded towel swans. The housekeeping, room service, and restaurant staff have a hideous smirk after you've spent some time with the swans. It's like telling you, "your future generations owe it to our swans."

How does the hotel staff decide to place the swans anyhow? Is it a request from the hotel guest, or the hotel staff saves it for the honeymooners? Thankfully I've never had to see the detestable swans lest mine will be strangled to laundry.

Till next time I see a pic of those two and squirm in disgust, it shouldn't stop you from publishing it.  

It’s subway and coffee for me

I’m sorry if I ruffle a few feathers, but I have a tendency to understand the reason behind doing things before blindly following them. So every year, just before the festivities, we have this period called Shraddha. After years of watching pooris and kheers, I thought if Shraddha was all about food. I’m aware that the food is a part of feeding the Brahmin, but it’s just a part of it.

·         From what I read, the purpose of the ritual is to provide momentum to the deceased to proceed from Pitru region to a higher plane of existence.

·         If people leave with unfulfilled wishes, the same must be fulfilled (by people who are paying their respect) so that their souls can proceed to a better place from a negative region.

Another source, states:

According to Garuda Purana, after thirteen days of the death soul starts its journey for Yamapuri and it takes seventeen days to reach there.

The soul travels through Yamapuri for another eleven months and only in twelfth month it reaches to the court of Yamaraj. During the period of eleven months it has no access to the food and the water. It is believed that Pindadan and Tarpan done by the son and family members satisfy the hunger and the thirst of the soul during its journey till it reaches the court of the Yamaraj.

Shraddha, a Sanskrit word, means faith. It is an opportunity to return the favors of our ancestors, society, sages and God. The spiritual emotion is important, and not so much the ritual itself. The ritual must be performed with sincerity.

All in all, I feel it’s a period to remember our ancestors (people who we loved day in and day out), think about every memory that we created with them and think of ways to carry forward their legacy.

Feeding the Brahmins with sumptuous food is a part of the ritual. Looks like we focus on that aspect a little too much.

Talking of food, I wish its Subway and coffee for my afterlife journey.   

Hello Stranger

Hello stranger,

Is that pain that I see in your eyes,

Are you broken from within?

Your silence says a lot,

Unspoken words are trying to break the barrier,

Your unwept tears awaiting freedom,

Just like your thoughts, oh so many thoughts,

In search of emancipation,

I can’t say this to you stranger,

But let go, try to let go,

Let go before there’s nothing to let go of.

Unapologetically unambitious

The tension, questions, feedback and clatter around nursery admissions in Delhi has left me at the edge of confusion, self-doubt and concern. Confusion since each one has a certain opinion about every school, self-doubt since I don’t aspire my kids to go to a school of which I can brag about in my non-existent circle and concern since the kids didn’t make it to many schools.

 

If I was to answer the kind of school that I aspire for Shreya and Shivansh (irrespective of its history or brand), I will say it must have:

• Sturdy security standards
• Patient and compassionate teachers who can excite them about the whole world of knowledge that awaits them
• Good infrastructure (that somehow translates in air-conditioned classes that are not important for me)
• Large playground
• Focus on sports and extracurricular activities
• A place that can fuel their imagination and teach them how to express
• Importance of respecting all, being grateful for everything, humility and generosity
• Give them exposure to a lot of things

What can a school assure?

I know a large part of all the above is my responsibility (and so it should be) but I wonder what can a school assure? 

Are all successful professionals from the best of schools? 

Do all generous and philanthropic people study in extravagant schools? 

Some of the toppers from my batch are not necessarily achievers and the ordinary are doing impressively well. I'm not trying to undermine the role of the school or teachers but I want to reinforce the worthlessness of the nursery admissions marathon. Both school and teachers are critical to shape the being that ultimately becomes.

It will be great if either Shreya or Shivansh (or both) can make it to IIT or Stanford, but it will be equally great if they wish to be a chef or play basketball.

Does it mean I’m unapologetically unambitious for the kids’ future? Perhaps. Perhaps not.  

I’ll find comfort as long as they can discover their passion and truly find lasting happiness in what they do.

Letter to Shivansh on your third birthday

My handsome and cutest Shivansh,

Happy Birthday my boy.

I just love your personality, incessant energy and charm. I love to tease you and act more like your sibling than your mom.

You’re funny and extremely perceptive, sensitive and expressive. You have no idea how much happiness you bring to each one of us. While am not on your favorite list, I know you seek my affection and attention.

I can’t believe that you’ve already grown out of my laps to get into a ‘big school’ (of course, if we’re lucky). While you start your school (too soon), I hope I can turn you into a person who is not fearful to imagine the unimaginable, who is not uncertain to talk about your whims and who is not afraid to dream. I hope you can think beyond text books and explore everything in this world with wonder and gratitude. Cherish every little wondrous thing that comes as a blessing.

The walls can be repainted, the beds can be remade, the floors can be cleaned again, and new furniture can be purchased. So, live your childhood fearlessly my baby but above all learn how to respect every creature, have compassion, be generous and learn to have gratitude for everything right, and for everything ‘not so right’, have the confidence to make it right.

From your mom who might seem busy on her laptop (with no time to play with you) but something that makes her truly happy and content. I hope there will be someday when you will understand.

Letter to Shreya on your third birthday

My pretty little damsel Shreya,

Happy Birthday my girl.

I have one small little ‘Hindi’ word that can be so aptly used for you – You’re a ‘pataakha’. You really are something with your attitude. But when you hug me like there’s no tomorrow and kiss me for no reason, I just melt a thousand times and wish time could come to a standstill. When you do that, I get it why people crave for children. Your love is the most comforting feeling in the world and it alleviates me of every little worry.

I fear the day when you won’t seek me or sleep over my chest. I might crib about it every morning but it’s the most comforting thing in the entire day.

While you shine bright academically, I hope you become more social, communicative and expressive. I honestly hope you learn to scale any difficulties with ease. I hope, like I hope for every child, you become independent, kind, compassionate and sensitive to your surroundings. Most importantly, I hope you are fearless and absolutely self-assured.

From a mom who will always have your back (whether you like it or not).