Letter to Shivansh on your 10th Birthday

 Dearest Shivansh,

More than a decade ago, I would read this quote from John Lennon on repeat-"Everything will be okay in the end, if it's not okay, it's not the end." After all these years, the realization dawned that the end was the beginning of getting pulled into a black hole. Sometimes joyful, sometimes irked, sometimes in trance, and a lot of times – angry. But all of it with a complete oblivion of time. I don't want to whine about how quickly a decade went by with you both– but it undoubtedly saddens me as much as it warms my heart.

My gulla – you've turned me into a baby as you pull my cheeks, saying she's so cute yaar. I don't know how Gen Alpha is wired so differently; you are anything but scared of me. You've turned into a full-blown entertainer with your funny comebacks and mischievousness. While you're funny, you're also deeply caring for the people around you. You're a kind soul who observes everything around you intently and is affected by the small things that surround you.

I realized something really important this year. Your achievements matter so much more than whatever I will now ever attain. As you won the first runner-up in the drawing competition, my heart raced, fluttered, and jumped out to walk along with you to the stage to pick up the trophy. I’m not sure I've ever been so proud in my life. I love it when you draw with such undeterred focus (keeping your tongue out) and have this urge to get better. Keep your passion going and master the art, my baby.

You're as perceptive as you're sensitive (a little too sensitive). As a mumma bear, I might have protected and pampered you a little too much. As much as I hate to admit it, it’s time to leave babydom, my little baby, and it’s time to get smarter for the big, bad world.  

On your 10^th birthday, I want to thank God a million times over. You are blessed to have a sibling to fight with, grandparents who love you both to bits, and a dad who does everything that fathers do and more. He’s been like a mom, a nanny, a driver, and a doting dad who never says no to anything that you ask for. Bua, Siddhi didi and Krishna bhaiya whose love and warmth you feel despite the distance.

Laugh, stay happy, and keep sparkling. My purpose is to always see you smile (and laugh).

Your cute and funny mommy

Letter to Shreya on your 10th Birthday

 Dearest Shreya,

No, no, no, no- I won't be sad or express my disbelief that you are already double digits. I will learn to adjust with it while looking at your baby memories.  

Your birth (and Shivansh’s) made me hopelessly optimistic and relentlessly hopeful. It gave me the belief that everything comes at a time when you are prepared for it. You both have made me strong and given me the grit to keep going.

My sleepy head, you are a smart, driven, and nerdy kid. In your teacher’s words, you are a wise, no nonsense, and confident one who doesn’t like to yap (unless you’re with Shivansh). Everything you do, you do it with the intent to excel – academics, sports, and art competition. I was amazed to see your cool upon receiving a bronze medal in skating, as if you won one every month, while I wanted to tango with joy.

Over the years, your fixation on dominating Shivansh only grew. You presume that he’s not doing his work correctly, studying properly, writing accurately, or even breathing the right way. Interestingly, you don’t even like it if any of us reprimands him.  

As you enter the danger zone of becoming a preteen, I hope you don’t change. I feel immensely proud that you are confident in who you are and don’t want to change for anyone. In a world that relies so much on external validation, it is so important to have the confidence to seek your own validation. I hope you never have to fit in, and that you believe everyone else can adjust. Fly higher, don’t look back, as there will always be someone to pull you back, and there will always be someone to protect you. I hope you learn to differentiate.

Your warm hugs and sweet pecks keep me going. Continue to be the loving person that you are – but only for us.

Stay happy, my little one, and always stand firm in your values. And please stop growing up so fast. 

Thank you for choosing me to be your mom and bringing so much joy and pride to your dad, and grandparents. Love you more than the definition of love can ever define.

Your mommy