Hi, have you met yourself?

We as a society and culture are still so alien to taking self-discovery breaks to do what we really want. I think we fear breaks. So what next is our deep concern the moment we hear someone is retiring. But how scary can a break be which gives you moments with yourself to discover your passions, your purpose and yourself. Our clan was and still is so insecure about everything (and here I am specifically referring to a self-discovery breaks and not a break to do nothing. I detest people who like to do nothing). We save, see our bank balance, crib, save and just get frustrated for not having been able to do our own thing. So the petrol prices will continue to rise and fall, the rupee will hopefully be not so volatile, the power tariffs will continue to eat large chunk of our pockets and economic crisis will come and go. But in all this and our struggle to cope up, where does self-discovery go? Can we just sit back and wear the NA tag and say it is for the westerners?   Shall we accept that nirvana for us is only by breaking the queue at the toll gate, hitting a rickshaw puller and getting guiltlessly away from it, having unnoticeably paid the vegetable vendor less than what we were to pay or having shopped stupendously at the Zara sale and announcing it on facebook?

I understand that we have to save for our old age and prepare for the not so certain future, I understand that we have to save for our children’s education and I also understand that we have to save for our and our parents’ ‘ever increasing’ medical expenses. Because none of the taxes we pay take care of any of this. I also understand that once we have done all of the above we aspire to accumulate wealth and grow it.

But then should that keep us away from self-discovery? Busy running around in circles, do we fear losing jobs and positions if we have to introspect?   

Thank you Aamir Khan

I truly and deeply respect you. And that is, not only as an actor but as a person.

Every Sunday with Satyamev Jayate, I cry, feel angry and laugh along with what people have to share. It is commendable that you not only discuss our deep rooted problems but also the very core of these problems. And then there are Monday headlines about how good or bad the Sunday show was. Sometimes we have more cynics than people who want to pat your back. There are also cynics who claim that you are just minting money. Wouldn’t you be just doing more movies for money?

More than anything I applaud your passion, the passion to improve our community. Most of us live without a passion or purpose so I also congratulate you for having found yours. Life without a passion is actually soulless living. Frustrated, disgusted and negative, all we do is spew criticism. So please forgive your critics, they envy you for having found your passion and being able to awaken masses. When we don’t have a purpose, all we do is what is rather easy, condemn everything around. Searching within is menacing.   

Week after week, you are able to make people speak and speak about their struggles and emergence.  What they share is truly inspiring and inspiring for each one who seeks not to get entertained.  I can’t help but wonder how the guilty must feel after each show – ashamed to face themselves even in the mirror I hope.

I also salute each and every person associated with Satyamev Jayate for so perfectly putting together such moving content.

Thanks again Mr. Khan. We and the future generations have a lot to thank you for.

I hate you Honey

All right so I am averse to sugar or anything to do with anything sugary (god! how much can I write about food and food checks). But for a lot of people, sweets are extremely close to their hearts. They will do anything to defend everything sugary. I have always had something against sweets (perhaps that something has been there ever since I started my weight battle).

Now take for example these indian sweets, where the poor milk is churned and churned forever till it forgets that it ever was milk. Or the most fatty ingredients are fried so deep that it guzzles all the oil till its last grain. And as if all that wasn't enough, the half dead specimen is then laden with a few kilograms of sugar or sugar syrup to make them 'calorie giants'. And for everything we then want these 'calorie giants' to be around. We have more sweet shops than the poor doctors who can treat the hazards which these giants can cause. Any wedding - gigantic giant, pappu pass - # size giant (the number of times it took for pappu to pass is directly proportional to the giant size), new car - #size giant (again the size of the car will determine the size of the giant), for the sake of taste buds- small giant. Why can't it be like, hey my sister is getting engaged so here these spa vouchers for you. Or I bought a new car so some skimmed milk for you or pappu cleared his exams so here cream crackers for you.

I am not even protecting the non indian sweets just because I have the smallest crush on them. I know a single doughnut too is pumped with all the butter I've had in a lifetime. And then ruthlessly bathed in heaps of sugar or the ever sinful chocolate. Not to even go near those cakes or pastries which are crammed with 'colored' creams and nicely shaped sugar blocks of all shapes. For selling these guilt filled chunks, the chic bakeries in posh markets shamelessly make the modest Aggarwal Sweets feel minuscule.

So honey (I actually don't mind bit of honey in winters) no matter what shape or size, no matter what color or how seductively you dress, I still hate you.

Pre Vacation Phobia of Vacation Over Syndrome

I must be crazy enough to write about this. But it is true. 

Whenever we have planned a vacation, the preparations excite me more than the vacation itself. So the moment the vacation is planned, my preparation starts. 

• Clothes (pack, unpack, repack) – Check
• Footwear (pack, unpack, repack as per the clothes) – Check
• Everyday Medicines – Check
• Medicines just in case - Check
• Download latest music for the way – Check
• Mobile chargers – Check
• Toiletries – Check
• Eatables (as many diet biscuits and mixtures) and beverages for the way – Check
• Books – Check
• DVDs (in case we can watch movies) - Check

Just before the vacation, I follow a strict diet for the inevitable indulgence ahead. When the vacation place is being decided, I am most excited. Searching for places, shortlisting the hotels and deciding how to reach there – all of it is a lot of excitement.  But as the vacation days near, the excitement strangely lessens. And when the journey begins, I get worried about the vacation getting over soon. It breaks my heart to think that now that the vacation has started, it will end soon. During the vacation, I am relentlessly counting the hours left for the vacation to be over. 

So do I suffer from a pre vacation phobia of vacation over syndrome?

Dear food, I hate you like I love you...

Ok, so I loved Kallie Purie's ‘Confessions of a Serial Dieter’. I can follow some of her crazy diets but cannot follow the lunatic workout routines.

I am not obsessed with getting to that perfect weight but when I try so hard shouldn't I get somewhere near? Between the autocratic  8 and a half office punching in and punching out, Gurgaon commute, work and home chores, I follow a Shikha Sharma bland diet and stagger on the treadmill for at least 4 times a week and no more. When I sleep late, I wake up late so the morning sleep devours my sparse workout and what follows are a couple of sad and yawning smileys on my BBM Status. Nothing more to cover up the guilt. During the evening travel, back home, I lust food. The growling tummy conspiringly blinds my mind with images of the fattiest foods possible. The domino’s pizza which I haven't eaten in over months, lovingly beckons me, adorned with extra melted and sizzling mozzarella. Or the Mc Donalds (which is now 2 minutes from home) dangles the red hot New Mexican spicy collection. The paneer tikkas do a brave bungee jumping in the mint chutney. After the starving journey ends, what follows at home is an overdose of diet biscuits and mixtures. So I have happily done away with the fat laden chips (at times there are left over from the last night party and sympathetically find a way to my growling tummy) but that does not help. And no, I don't even want to look at fruits or milk when I am so ravenous.

I love and hate food. For most of the foods I love, I have tried to start hating them. Even in weak moments, they remain ruthlessly ignored. The forgotten Ferrero Rochers yelp every time I open the fridge but I rudely skim out the cucumbers and shut the door of the fridge hard. The cheese slices endlessly wait to rest on the soft bread slices but they are left cold and unwanted. But I cannot ignore the chocolate layered doughnuts or the doughnuts flooded with the smoothest and thick coffee flavored liquid. And I cannot ignore the heavily fried papris or any shaped pasta and I cannot resist pita bread waiting to bathe in the olive oil smeared hoummos. So for those who love me, please do not get these sinful things near me, ever.

But then how do I get to my perfect weight which lives happily ever after in the far far away land?

Any agony aunt (or size zero lass) has answers to my love hate problem?

What I know is not enough and enough is not enough

We are living in confusing times (and I don't rant in all my blogs. Apologies if it appears so). During the time when our folks were working, things were so much simpler. There was a clearly defined hierarchy and the higher you were in the hierarchy decided how many subordinates you had, the size of your cubicle (and its amenities. I have heard of cases where the tea and cookies bettered with each level up) and the degree to which the security guard would bow to your regard. The higher you were, the more networked you were within and outside the system. The weightier the title, the shorter the duration of the work to be completed. Each one was happy in his or her little world aspiring to gradually move up the ladder for getting into bigger cubicles and additional amenities. Bureaucracy was comfortably and deeply embedded in the systems and personal relations mattered a lot.

Of course, times have changed.
 
Blame it on google (to begin with). It empowered everybody. People dependency reduced and proximity to free information increased multifold. Sitting on my desk, I no longer had to depend on my manager or super boss for information. Linkedin could get me to networks, which were earlier so closely guarded by a selected few. Irrespective of my title, I have access to all the information (any maybe more) which my CEO has accumulated over the years. But with that also increased my challenge. My little world has suddenly expanded to the reach of the search engine which, fortunately or unfortunately, reaches the remotest part of the world. I am aware of what I can achieve just beyond a hierarchy and that perhaps my title is, after all, not proportional to what I know. What I know is not enough, I need to know more and when I know more, that what I know, is already obsolete so I need to catch up. And I need to be networked. The larger my network circle , the higher my influence quotient.

I need to connect with my colleagues and try to replicate their networks. If I share and collaborate, I can quickly ramp up what I know. Conversations help effective and lasting learnings in times when we are so short of time and have so much to do.

While organizations realize these changes, some still are uncomfortable to drop hierarchies, silos and continue to enforce restrictions on conversations (and block social networking sites while creative individuals find unique ways to bypass these enforcements). Lot of the organizations are leveraging from empowered individuals and conversations. Few organizations are hesitatingly changing in the fear of rotting in old ways.

Whether organizations evolve or not, individuals are evolving fast and moving out of systems which curb their evolution.

The Braggy FB Status: Like it, Comment

I hate to do this but I see these funny things all the time and can't help but share what I feel.

I am not technology bashing here. I really appreciate how Facebook and Twitter have revolutionized the way we communicate. But how some people are (mis)using it, I refuse to second. It indeed is amazing how empowered we are to let our friends and foes know anytime where we are, what we are doing or what we are planning to do, how our mom feels, what the kids ate, what our 2nd cousins did, what are the neighbors up to...I mean it just gives you that bullhorn at the tip of your fingers. Masses, who matter to you, know it all with just your single and gentle click of the 'share' button.

So I see these intelligent, funny, meaningful Facebook status updates all the time which I absolutely love.

Great!

But some of these, I can't help but notice, are obviously and slyly wrapped in layers of flamboyance. These clearly are a cheesy and desperate cry for attention. 'Hey people, like and comment where I am, like and comment what I bought, like and comment what I have done'. Because before even breathing in the freshness or the beauty of a new experience or a new place, it has been updated for you. It is so critical to desperately juggle with the smart phone to update this act. It is so urgent to let people know and appreciate instantly.

After posting it and before feeling anything real, the smartphone is still not left alone, the fb page is refreshed to check the growing likes and comments.

So here I am not carving the path to enlightened Facebook status updates or twitters. But sharing an observation that perhaps in being obsessed with sharing with the world immediately, we somehow let moments of a special experience slip callously.

The world will know and be happy (or maybe not if that's your intent). But boisterously flashing and seeking satisfaction in their instant acknowledgment is not worth it, I think.