The year that was (Shilpa, get rid of these clichéd titles)

On this last day of 2011, I reflect back. Not to make any resolutions for 2012, but just to reflect back (I don't believe in resolutions. If you are convinced about something, you do it. You don't need resolutions to do it.)

It was a sad year to begin with. We lost our most precious being. I loved her with all my heart. It was the most painful parting and I still miss her a lot.

As for the holidays, we took a few interesting ones. Mussorie got somewhat adventurous. With Sumit and my 'save the pizza from the rain' adventure. We managed to walk, take a rickshaw ride in the heavy downpour but all to save our precious pizza smelling all the more divine in the slight chill of the hills.

I changed my job too. Just before 2011 slipped away, I did it. Too early to say anything more but am sure it will be a great learning experience. And where there's something mind challenging to learn from a great mentor, there is me.

So here's wishing myself a learning, mind opening and self discovering 2012. I wish I can loose what I want to and also gain what I want to.

And I wish all of you an amazing year in which you can follow your passions. I hope you can achieve your goals or at least can get closer to them. Party crazy today for a saner tomorrow ;-)

From the heart

If you do what you do from the heart, there are no regrets,
If you say things from the heart, there are no regrets,
If you believe from the heart, there are no regrets,
If you feel truly from the heart, there are no regrets,
If you see what your heart wants to see, there are no regrets,
If you experience life from the heart, there are no regrets,
If you see yourself as your heart wants you to see, there are no regrets.

Punjabi at heart

I may hate ghee. I may also hate the paranthas stealthily rolled in a few kilograms of ghee which is then innocently laden with 'just a bit' of white butter or yellow amul butter (which is when your wife is not loving enough to toil and churn out the white sin for you from the foul smelling and annoying cream treasured over a few days).

I may hate the loud mouthedness, crudity and boasting. I hate the way showing off is slyly wrapped in innocent small remarks. I hate the artificiality and the competitiveness to show you are more moneyed with expensive brands written all over the paunch or the extravagant handbag which, in all its likelihood, would have emptied the wallet within.

But then I love our Punjabi spirit. Our happy songs, our weddings endowed with all bright colors, our enthusiasm to sing and dance (irrespective of the paunch), our unmatched energy, fervor and excitement. We are always charged, laughing with no inhibitions and we can celebrate anytime (anything) and show we are a happy go lucky lot with no hang ups (other than the times we are trying to get a bigger car than the other punjabi munda).

Even though I hate so many things but after all I am a 'Punjabi' at heart!
(And this with special reference to our heated and 'not so heated' discussions with Punjabi boys Sumit and Amitesh. And dear Smriti, no, I still don't endorse anything to do with ghee. We still are the same team).

Here's to all Punjabis by heart (amazing lyrics)!
http://youtu.be/phNclVJHh4o

Freedom Bond

Feel your wings and fly away,
Today is as new a day as yesterday,
Fly and touch the highest cloud,
Believe you can and drop the shroud,
Come out of the dark holding no hands,
Seek within for the strength to stand,
Free, free from the hollow pretense,
Look beyond the forest of rules so dense,
And when you fly far and reach beyond,
With your soul make the freedom bond.

I see...(Thanks Mr. Rahman)

I spread my arms as far as I can,
Trying to feel the unfelt,
Whirling on unfamiliar grounds,
Looking at the skies with closed eyes,
Trying to find myself in the unseen,
I feel the breeze tease my fingers,
I hear music never heard before,
And I see...
With lips curling to the unknown,
Wishes become naught,
I feel the eternal power,
The power that is me,
The power that leaves me powerless.

Special note of thanks to AR Rahman. You are beyond genius. I was so inspired to 'see', feel and write this blog after hearing Kun Fayakun which mean Be, and it is.
Its an Arabic term mentioned in Quran which means When God Almighty intends some work to be done. He just say Kun (Be) and It is done already. Do read and hear http://www.lyricsmint.com/2011/09/kun-fayakun-lyrics-and-video-song.html

A wonderful life

A freezing morning, my nose red,
Snuggled in fur, on the cobbled street I tread,
Treading along I see a wooden hut afar,
Oozing smoke from a chimney that looks like a cigar,
The smoke lends a magical warmth in the air,
It reaches my senses, tantalizes and dares,
I stop for a moment staring at the hut,
Towards a warming temptation I start to strut,
Up and down the mounds of the cobbled street covered with snow,
I quicken to a desire that now seems impossible to let go,
Dreaming of a romance that was soon to start,
With worries of work and deadlines, I happily part,
At the door of the hut, I stand mesmerized,
Aroma of fresh coffee beans dancing around walnut cake sliced,
Helplessly in love, I walk in like a lost warrior,
I desperately look around for life and my possible savior,
Greeted by an old lady with crooked teeth,
Beyond her wrinkles, I could see my savior beneath,
I request for a steaming cappuccino and a chocolate doughnut,
She smirks as she senses my insatiable glut,
Towards the oven, she walks with great pride,
Having picked the prettiest doughnut to melted chocolate she glides,
I hear the doughnut moan as it takes a smooth chocolaty plunge,
It returns dressed in smoking brown, revitalized and young,
Now to the coffee machine, my savior walks fast,
I watch as the frothy milk meets the steaming aroma to forever last,
Finally sitting on a tray, the moment of union arrives,
I stare at it lovingly just before in eternity I dive,
With each of my each sense awakened without any strife,
I hum to myself 'what a wonderful life'!

Breaking News: Humans nearing extinction in the Indian Capital and its surrounding cities

New Delhi: 24th September
In yet another shocking incident late last night, the Delhi beast shot a human in Gurgaon. The beast, like in earlier incidents, shot the human victim over a non issue of paying a toll of Rs. 27.

This is the umpteen incident wherein the humans have been victimized by the growing number of beasts in Delhi and surrounding areas. The beasts continue to threaten with more human deaths unless the Centre bows down to their demand over the release of other beasts from Tihar and other jails.

Shmt Sheila Dixit expressed her concern and compensation of Rs.1 lac and a human child for the family of the victim. She emphasized that after the dismissal of 62% Delhi Police Force identified as beasts, it is challenging for the diminished rest to manage the law and order situation. She has urged all Delhi and NCR humans to remain indoors, avoid driving and leave their cars wherever possible to avoid parking related killings. She urged human families to avoid conflict with any store keepers or neighbors.

(C) SurvivortoLiveliertimes.com

------------------------------------------------------------
Ad: Beast Protect
The beast protect alarm ~Your 100% Shield, all the time, every time ~
------------------------------------------------------------

Comments:
beastlyghost700: ha ha ha. We will overpower soon.

Shilpa: Can somebody help me with immigration immediately!

I am a Knowledge Manager but I do not manage knowledge

When I tell people 'I am a knowledge manager', 8 out of 10 ask me 'oh, so you manage knowledge?’ Well, from the sound of a knowledge manager it may seem like it but it really is not. It could take hours or perhaps days to explain what I manage. But in the few words that this blog and your attention span allows, you can say, I help organisations manage knowledge.

How?

Let's assume every organisation is a bank and its employees are the Fixed Deposits and various Funds. These fixed deposits, on their own, have all the innovative ways to grow (by socializing, networking, learning and sharing). They always have the voracious greed to add as much knowledge value to themselves. In the most current scenario, they blog, socialize in cafes or different forums or use twitter/ facebook for that urge to share and gain.

Their networking and sharing skills are limited. Imagine if the bank does not bother about making the success of one fund work for another. Each one has to struggle for a new way and reinvent the wheel.

These deposits and funds remain volatile. They benefit the bank only as long as they are within the bank. So imagine what the bank lets go of every time a deposit or fund walks away. And imagine how many success stories and growth plans the bank says goodbye to each year.

So now comes the knowledge manager (and my example fails me as I can’t find the right representation of this knowledge manager in a bank scenario). Nevertheless, this knowledge manager helps extract, capture, document and disseminate all that information and knowledge that is typically lost. The knowledge manager will liaise with people and ensure they capture their minds through one way or another. They will promote networking and the ideas that are born from it and importantly secure those ideas and make sure as many people are aware of it. The knowledge manager helps people find the space to look for information or other people.

To summarise, the knowledge manager builds the knowledge park for an organisation while encouraging people to play on it.

Dreaming, dreaming...

Dreaming, dreaming, I go on to dream,
My dreams, that are, dressed as reality,
My dreams that question my silence,
Dreams to believe in me.

Dreaming, dreaming, I go on to dream,
My dreams that tell me to cross the bridge,
The bridge built on doubts and fear,
Which will be crossed if my mind was clear.

Dreaming, dreaming, I go on to dream,
My dreams to fly in the open sky,
To embrace the careless wind and feel my flapping wings,
Fly where dreams are a reality and I go on to dream.

I wish to go

I wish to go.

Escape the maddening chaos screaming down my neck. The yelling buzz gnawing the peaceful space in my mind. People ruthlessly grabbing the bits of calm in my heart, as if it were a rare trophy. 'Hey, how do you have that calm trophy for so long!!! I want it'.

So I have this list of places to visit to preserve my trophy.

(1) Scotland (I am told that I will absolutely love it. The beauty of it is more mesmerizing than any of Europe)

(2) Spain (because of Zindagi na milegi dobara. I will be glad to feel half the free spiritedness that those guys felt)

(3) Aachen (Thanks to Tamal we saw this absolutely serene and scenic town. I loved the architecture and just walking around. I know Sumit that you wish to spend some time alone with your friend here but trust me, leave me alone with a cappuccino, croissant, my books, train ticket and my laptop and am more than happy. It's the only place I wish to revisit)
p.s. Wonder where would Tamal go for calm?

(4) Las Vegas (I heard people go wild here so I don't mind exploring the wilder me)

(5) Tanzania (that's my birth place and mom tells me it really is exquisite so there I have my real wildlife safari waiting)

(6) Turkey (I've wanted to visit this place while in Dubai. Would be intriguing to see how a middle eastern country lives the European way. And of course the Turkish food - the limited vegetarian options)

(7) Raju's cottage, Manali (I saw this simple holiday resort sorts on NDTV good times. The place had such a high picturesque quotient while being no frills with its endless orchids)

(8) McLeod Ganj (again seen pictures of how beautiful the place is)

(9) Goa (to unconfine and indulge in feny)

(10) Any suggestions...?

Whew! That's a good trophy preservation list to begin with.

I feel alive

The soft breeze, dancing to the tune of the monsoons, her freshly manicured fingers exuding chill. She seducingly whispers in my ears, laughs and plays with my loose hair strands. She then looks at me with its darkened kohled eyes. The smile disappears and turns into a frown to find me laboriously punching into my blackberry. The hair strands still curled in the direction of the breeze but which go unnoticed by me. 'Damn technology smitten humans', the breeze curses.

She then seethingly turns its back on me and stealthily tiptoes in the other direction. And with renewed freshness tickles the shrub, the tree, the flowers, the lifeless dry leaves which had long forgotten the meaning of life. And all responded. The shrubs giggled while the tree swayed. The flowers blink shyly casting their fragrance in all directions. The lifeless dry leaves float along with the breeze turn a pale green as if infused with a second life. The breeze is joyous. She breathes ecstasy.

In her ecstatic moment, she looks at me who is now staring at nothing. 'Ah, finally without her technology toy'...the breeze notices. One last try and she blows, this time, a mild soft touch. The touch that feels like a gentle kiss on my cheek and I blush.

I feel alive.

A beautiful little girl

It's been a month since you're gone and there hasn't been a day that I didn't miss you badly. 30 days without you...seems unbelievable. Your affection, love, excitement, cute antics...I miss it all so much. Your sheer innocence and liveliness is so alive in our memories that it seems not possible that death could touch you. I feel that you might just sneak out from under the bed someday and everything will just be the same as before. You brought back the child in us all the time. You have left us as hurt adults.

As we grow as adults, we feel shy to express our emotions. But every time you pounced on us and did not let anyone go beyond the living room till we expressed our love and affection. Your beautiful dark eyes were always filled with love. You demanded immense love from us just like the way you gave us.

Our house was alive with your constant barking. The neighbors, visitors, cats and mice were petrified to even come near the house. Visitors or workmen were even scared to touch our main gate because of you. You were known to be ferocious and (to our advantage) we let that impression be. Even though you were so timid that you couldn't even go alone till the main door in the dark. Or always peed outside the vet's clinic. You know your barking friend Tuffy too misses you. Her faint barking was in sync with your shrieky barking. Now she keeps waiting for your response, just like we do. She alone can't scare away the cats or monkeys.

We miss your childhood, the small ball of pure white fur. My hands now crave to stoke your soft fur. I remember the moment you arrived in a small jute basket, sleeping, unaware of the permanent love you etched in our hearts. I named you in an instant. I played with you as if you were a teddy bear. You must hate me for all those times when I cuddled you hard. You bit all the carpets away and jumped around in every room. I scared you with the red bucket, irritated you by pretending to pull out your ticks or moving around the furniture. You grew up too fast. And became one lovely lady. But with all our pampering you were still the child of the house. I am sure 7 or 17 years, you would have always stayed the baby that you were. Every time I visited, I always had to pick up something for you. All of us thought of you when in market which is why the house was filled with your goodies. You were part of every aspect of mom and dad's routine.

Your going moments still hurt a lot. I don't know why god made us experience them. The only reason I try to convince myself that of your going is that it was time you had to be reborn as a little brat destined to be pampered and spolit by someone else. You must be reborn somewhere as a beautiful little girl with beautiful black eyes, I wish.

Our forever love

She was a breathe of fresh air,
She was sheer excitement unfolded,
She was a bundle of our joys,
She was everything life and lively,
She gave us unadulterated love.
She demanded love from each one who touched her life,
Her deep set twinkling eyes that craved for pure adoration,
She bared her teeth in her effort to smile back at us,
She was our little, beautiful, delicate baby,
Inseparable from our happiness and lives,
She was our white angel without wings,
Who grew wings and went away just like that,
Couldn't she have stayed longer,
Won't she come back looking at our grief,
Wherever she is, I want her to know,
We will be what she wanted us to be, loving and smiling,
We are glad she touched our lives and showed us what it is to selflessly love,
We will not mourn as we feel she is always with us,
We miss her every single minute and she will be our forever love.

Termination of the 'HUMAN' Experiment

Students,
Today I wish to share my most sucessful experiment called EG3 but which I had to abruptly end due to its increasingly venomous effect on other galaxies and species.

Here goes...

Once upon a time, in a far far away planet, there lived a species called human. The human, one rare and absolutely funny concoction of emotions and intelligence, the imbalance of which lead to their extinction.

I had planned it since the beginning. In our Earth lab, we planned, monitored and controlled everything.

These humans were induced with chemicals called thinking (thk2), inventing (ivt4), belief (bfe2) and feelings (flg3). Together these chemicals lead to confusion (cfs2) and also produced a new chemical, that was unknown to us and a new discovery. It was ego (eg3). So to test the capacities of eg3, we made them invent, evolve and become powerful than other species around. This made the eg3 chemical in humans grow exponentially. These inventions were meant to ease their lives but which, in reality, complicated it further. We visited them every now and then to make them feel that they have understood their solar system and know of life beyond earth. They started working on inventions that were more powerful than themselves. The eg3 chemical widened the trap that we lay for them. They didn't realize but it gradually destroyed everything they had ever understood.

Eg3 spread like an incurable infection. It made them destroy each other and whatever was around them. In fact eg3 also had the capability of destroying its parent chemicals - thinking, inventing, belief and feelings.

Lot of humans preached to free themselves from eg3 but in turn the preachers became the infected carriers. Humans became blinder, deafer and deprived from feelings. It came to the extent where their inventions started destroying them in masses. There was blood shedding, bombing and more infections everywhere.

It was then that we decided to terminate experiment 'human' and with them the toxic 'eg3'.

Signing off - 22%TEKP$

The battle we're losing which we think we're not even fighting

I often have wondered what makes people so addicted to facebook or twitter. To be driven to the extent of sharing information, people to know what they are up to, share pictures, check what others are up to...just that insatiable hunger to stay connected.

How were we connecting before the facebook or twitter era (and am not looking for orkut as an answer). Even before mobiles existed...we stayed in touch by meeting people or writing letters. It was more human touch and less technology. But then we were in touch with only a few.

Today facebook has put me in touch with almost my entire class of 1997. I can check how they look today, what they are up to, what did they do after school...I don't even call friends on birthdays and anniversaries. I wish them on fb.

So the social networking world has opened my world but put me away from the human touch. Where am being empowered on one hand, technology is also lessening my human effect.

Is technology somewhere making me lose the battle on the sly which I don't even realize am fighting?

Sliced in 2, served with deception

I had written and published this on my ex-blog. During an interesting discussion with Neha today, I remembered about it and re-publishing it (while still striving for 1).

The number 2 is more important than number 1. Really!

All ones somewhere are two. The nose has 2 nostrils, the mouth has 2 lips.
The human has 2 characters. Allright, allright...so this is what I was
actually trying to talk about. Was trying to lead the discussion to the 2
us.

What I want to be.
What I want the world to perceive me as.

The unconventional me.
The conventional me.

The wild, rebellious and experimenting me.
The sober, sensible and satisfied me.

The me wanting to tear apart the rulebook of life
The me succeeding the test of rules

The me not caring about anyone
The me appreciated for how caring I am

The me wanting to drench in the rain till my soul is soaked
The me reaching out to the few droplets not even enough to wet my fingers

The me waiting to fly
The me trying not to fly too high

The me for me
The me for everyone

To be one, deceive not to be the other. To be the other, pretend to
disapprove the other. Never accepting the 2 and yet keeping the 2nd alive
as a temptation.

I had a strange dream

I had a strange dream.

In fact I think dreams play a significant role in my life. Not sure if it's special to have spiritual dreams, but I feel different whenever I have these spiritual dreams. What is even stranger is the fact that I clearly remember each and every aspect, as is, whenever I have such dreams.

I recently had a strange spiritual dream. Back in school, I was participating in this event wherein a few of us had to come forth and narrate a few lines of this prayer. I was the first to go...dressed in white, I was frantically mugging up, from my notebook, the few lines I had to narrate. We were then called upon to queue up as our performance was to start. And it did...I walked up to the stage and stood in the middle, with the spotlight on myself, completely blank. I had forgotten my lines! What should I do...I was thinking fast. Should I just make up something and say it. Just when I was racing my thoughts to the best escape route, Mrs. Manhorahan, our principal who was late for the event walked in with the Chief Guest and told us to restart. I sighed and rushed backstage, where my mom was waiting. I urgently asked her to get me the notebook where I had jotted the prayer. She rushed and got it. We quickly scanned each page and no prayer. We looked again...nothing. I asked others but they just had their own few lines, which they had to narrate. Mrs. Manhorahan walked in backstage. I tried to put a brave smile so she couldn't sense the panic. She sat down and wrote a few lines...she handed over the paper to me then and asked me to narrate those lines after I had narrated the prayer.

I looked at what she handed me. It said...

Hey bhagwaan, mujhe shakti, shukti, tripti aur mukti pradaan karein.

And I woke up with these lines echoing in my mind. I wonder what significance do these lines hold. I am intrigued and bewildered.

Strange, very strange.

Alka Singh Chauhan

As heavy duty the name might sound, I always remembered and will remember her as the tiny, chirpy and extremely adorable AND huggable girl (even though I hate pdoa, she is just so adorable).

When I saw her after 12 years in her diva avatar, one thing was just the same...she was still sitting small and meek in the corner like in the classroom. In school, she was always the short, cute little girl who no teacher even dared to scold as she came across as so vulnerable. Even though we were not the best of buddies(or wait we were not even buddies) in school but here we are and this is us. We landed in the same team after so many years to become the best of chums. But those golden days lasted but a few months till her team was changed. Gosh! It felt like they changed my best friend's class section...

Nevertheless,our breaks are always together. The day starts with an ode to each other to be followed with a frothy, steaming and lovely cappuccino seducing us with its fresh bean aroma (ok, this isn't about cappuccino but both of us just love it). It's never any other way and the day when it is, our mood is completely spoilt. Chittering chattering, the coffee breaks are over soon too soon and followed by gossip on messenger or even animated conversations on office extension (a lot of times about school). A day in office is never complete without her. She makes me feel connected to the past long gone and brings back that girlie sparkle.
As life rolls by, I hope we keep in touch. But all in all, my piece of advice. Never burn your bridges because you never know who might turn to be your closest buddy tomorrow. So here's to Alka Singh Chauhan ;)

The wilted rose

The wilted rose,
Yellow, it was, in its youth,
Now sits sad and withered,
Blackened petals,
Its charm, its youthful charm,
Robbed, depleted, lost.
Abandoned by human,
Embraced by wilderness,
Happy to be one with nature,
Feeling the touch of the soil,
Craving for heavenly drops from the sky,
The wilted rose, the yellow wilted rose,
Still holding on to life, beauty and its dying charm.

Her highness, Princess Shilpa

While reading of the prince Charles and queen Elizabeths, one can little know of what royalty feels like. But what I felt today, made me feel like a queen or rather a princess and to feel royal must be it.

My dad pulled out his wallet for some ten rupee notes. Just before putting it back he opened it again and showed it to Sumit, who seemed amused. What amused him, had to be shown to me too. And I saw, there sat my chubby pre teen photo in my dad's wallet smiling at everybody. Dad then said with so much pride, "this is my lucky photo". I didn't know of this, I didn't even know that dad had my photograph in his wallet. But it certainly made me feel special, very special. With all my faults and drawbacks, I still was lucky for him and found a place in his wallet. In this entire world with so many accomplished and not so accomplished people, I am lucky for dad beating all those numerous people. Amazing, I am so extraordinary for him and there I was feeling so low about being chubby (again) and for what I couldn't achieve. But I am special, very special for him. So with a deep breath...
I, The special,
I, The lucky,
I, The royalty,
I, The self proclaimed princess of my dad's world.
Yipee...

Happy Blog

Whenever I chance upon my former blog amsurvivor (was I?), it scares me. I
mean Was it me?

The dark and murky world...glum spilled all over. It has taken that long to
realise, accept and start afresh after 4 years.
This new blog idea occurred today while listening to 'Sadi Gali' from Tanu
weds Manu. Ya, imagine from the Linkin' Park, Creed, Pink Floyd to Mr.
Lehmber ( I find his first name intriguing). Not that I ditched Linkin'
Park but I do like loud and happy songs equally now. So it's actually not
thanks to Mr. Lehmber (wow, I like taking his name again and again) but
Sumit.

He's one of the most chilled out person (read man) I've come across.

I've learnt, from him, it's not worth taking matters so seriously. Issues
can be resolved without being serious about them.

I've learnt, to forgive, forget and move on. Live bloated in your ego and
you limit yourself. Connect with people without expecting or having
grudges. You have no control over what they think or say to you, but you
have control over having a good time with them.

I've learnt to have a good time, often. It's good to be energetic and
spontaneous. Listen to cheerful songs and dance. Look for interesting
places to go to. When you're down and out, try listening to a loud and an
up-beat song. It works well for me.

Don't be lonely. When lonely, make friends, call up a friend you haven't
spoken to in a long time.

Do not be so risk averse that you just end up analyzing everything and yes
do not be too analytical. Taking calculated risks is good at times.

Do not be critical of people or situations. You can't change either so
what's the point?

Stay positive as much as possible. It helps.

Pamper yourself, once in a while. Buy yourself something nice or get a
relaxing massage (ok he did not teach me that. I was inspired to learn that
myself but he doesn't mind)


On that note, I hope I can keep this blog alive and kicking.

Statutory Warning - Do not infer from the above blog that I wouldn't sulk
once in a while. Will try and keep it as lively as possible.